My month started off great with my nineteenth birthday. It was such a lovely day spent with one of my best friends. After that it all went downhill when I got a really bad “bout” (I don’t know) what else to call it) of anxiety and spent the rest of the month trying to feel like a human being again. I don’t feel like going deeper into it, but the last week has been a lot better at least.
So this month I basically struggled to do anything. My sudden inability to read was especially stressful but I did manage to get a few books read (mostly for school, which are marked with a *). I’m ahead of schedule in my goodreads goal for the first time in the whole year somehow.
*Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare ★★★★★
A Conjuring of Light by V.E. Schwab ★★★★★
A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas ★★★½☆
*The Faerie Queene (Book One) by Edmund Spenser N/A
*Tartuff by Molière N/A
Negotiating with the Dead by Margaret Atwood ★★★★☆
Vicious by V.E. Schwab ★★★★☆ (re-read)
*The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde★★★☆☆ (re-read)
*Oedipus Rex by Sophocles ★★★☆☆ (re-read)
*King Lear by William Shakespeare ★★★☆☆
Favorite of the Month
A Conjuring of Light and Julius Caesar (tie)
The two resonated with me so much for completely different reasons.
I barely wrote this month. I just couldn’t. I wrote about six thousand words in the whole month, most of them in the last week. I was averaging about seven thousand a week before…. but yeah, I’m not going to pressure myself to write as much this coming month. If I get back to that average, great, if not, I’ll happy as long as I keep writing.
No TV for me this month. That was the one thing I haven’t managed to do again. I did watch the whole Planet Earth series, though; it was the only thing that helped with my anxiety in those first few days.
Hahaha. Another thing I wasn’t able to do. I stuck to my writing playlists this whole month. Though I did love Green Light by Lorde, I don’t feel like listening to it anymore because I associated it to how bad I felt. It sucks to have things like that ruined for you.
Random Things That Made Me Happy
I had a really bad month, in case you hadn’t realised. Mostly for myself, I wanted to compile a shortlist of things that helped me through it.
My friends and family, who are the greatest. Also included in the family category are my dogs.
The reviews/videos of Lindsay Ellis, Todd in the Shadows, Kyle Kallgren and Elisa Hansen. They all used to be part of the same site, which has since gone down, and, even though they talk about completely different things (from vampire media to pop music), they are so funny and intelligent in their criticism. I’ve been following their work for a couple of years now, but I went on a rewatch spree these past few weeks. Their videos are all on YouTube now, so if you haven’t checked them out I whole-heartedly recommend them.
BookTube. Just hearing people talk about books, even though I couldn’t read at the time, made feel much better.
V.E. Schwab books. I don’t know why but I just stopped feeling bad when I was reading ACoL, so I picked up Vicious again and it also helped a lot.
Emily Dickinson’s poetry. My best friend gave me a collected edition of her poetry for my birthday. I’m about a hundred poems in and loving her how she writes so far.
Writing this blog. When I was to scared to write my WIP, I came back to this blog. Putting down my ideas, giving them shape and structure without the pressure of getting graded definitely made me feel better.
Writing essays. I loved how my essay on Julius Caesar turned out (and my teacher did too!), but most of all I loved the process of writing it, especially the moment when things just clicked and I knew what I had to do.
Thought Bubbles from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Never have I felt so identified with a song. Its catchiness also helped me not to overthink ironically.
jacksepticeye’s Night in the Woods Let’s Play. I saw one of the blogs I read regularly recommend this and, wow, it was just what I needed. I had never watched a LP before, but I ended up loving this one. I watched all seven one-hour videos in three days. The game looks amazing too, and I was totally able to relate to a lot of its themes with what I’ve been going through now that I’m in college.
Life is Strange. I’m late as always, but I played through the first three episodes and loved them. I love, love, love anything focussed on friendship between girls and to have the core of the game be about Max and Chloe’s relationship made me fall for this game really quickly.
Eating healthy and sleeping seven hours or more each night. Who knew those thing could make you feel better? Like, literally, no one could have guessed.